$4,321 · WANTED: Velvet nude paintings

Hey I'm hoping someone out there has a velvet (black velvet preferred but open to options) nude to sell cheap - the bigger and tackier, the better. Know anyone with something like that tucked away in a garage or where ever? Fire off a description and asking price. A picture would be great. Please, DO include at least the dimensions and asking price, thanks! Can pick up Shawnigan to Cedar